Round 23 NRL Guest Preview: WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

This week's guest previewer is Elizabethan Playwright WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.
Last week's writer Ricky Ponting (score: 6/8 tips) is too busy being cocky and stubborn to return our calls...

Cowboys vs Bulldogs:
To be, or not to be: that is the question. Oh, it wasn't? Silly me. Sorry what was the question again? Ah yes... Cowboys or Bulldogs: that is the question. Anybody know the answer? Let us choose Cowboys.

Rabbitohs vs Titans:
The King of Redfern, Russell Crowe, has heard whispers of scheming by the young Prince of Gold Coast and his crafty Friend. Meanwhile, a dangerous and futile friendship, forged during the battle of Origin between Wing of the Rabbitoh family and Bailey of the Titan family, threatens to spark a bitter family feud. And Sutton will be man-of-the-match.
Rabbitohs to win in a dramatic final scene, possibly involving a field goal.

Roosters vs Sea Eagles:
O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? And O Stewart, Stewart! Wherefore art thou Stewart? Are you still bloody injured? Honestly, take some medicine dear.
As poorly as Manly's fullback be, all the Roosters be poorer.
Sea Eagles by 13+.

Raiders vs Dragons:
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. Especially Wendell Sailor. But one must ask how it is that a Sailor be also a Dragon? By day a merry seaman, by night a fire-breathing menace. On this cool Canberra eve, whom must the Raider slay - be it the Sailor or the Dragon? Such anticipation doth stir the soul of ye neutral supporter.
Dragons I tell you.

Eels vs Warriors:
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. Except Jarryd Hayne - he is surely a God.
I can't tell you who will win this, but I can tell you there will be a twist in the tale. Okay you really want to know? Promise you won't get cranky if I ruin the ending? Eels are going to win. Happy now?

Sharks vs Tigers:
This will be a play of two acts. In Act One the Sharks will begin full of promise. But in Act Two the Tigers will launch a stunning comeback.
When the curtain falls it will be Sharks 22 - Tigers 24.

Broncos vs Panthers:
If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you slow down our play-the-ball, do we not get a penalty?It depends on the referee, I suppose.
Broncos to finally fall on their sword and lose by 12.

Knights vs Storm:
You don't need an intellectual such as myself to tell you what will happen here.
Storm will win. By 50.