Round 26 NRL Guest Preview: SUPERMAN

This week's special guest previewer is the legendary superhero SUPERMAN!

Last week's writer DARIUS BOYD was banned from returning by his coach Wayne Bennett, apparently because he said too much.

Dragons v Eels:
Jarryd Hayne is NOT Superman. I am Superman!!! Why do people keep getting us confused? So the dude is unstoppable. Big Deal. When was the last time anyone saw him fly for more than 2 seconds? Exactly.
And who the heck is this Weyman? I know a lot of the cool 'Man' names like me and Spider and Bat etc have already been taken but seriously can't he come up with something better than Weyman? Wey isn't even an animal or anything. Superheroes are so unimaginative these days...
Eels by 7.

Tigers v Bulldogs:
Bulldogs without Kimmorley are as dangerous as a bad guy without Kryptonite.
Tigers to win. (By the way whilst writing these previews I've also just stopped a derailed train, beaten up some wacko criminal with a quirky talent and witty personality, and rescued a kitten from a tree. What have you done for society?)

Warriors Storm:
Every hero needs an alias - a real-life persona that people aren't curious about. But I'm afraid Billy Slater's is rubbish. He is quite obviously a geeky teenage boy until he puts on that Storm Man costume.
Still, it's one thing knowing who he is, and another thing entirely trying to stop him. Warriors don't have a chance.

Sea Eagles v Titans:
My girl Lois says she fancies Matt Orford. I always thought she just liked tall, dark, handsome types... I'm not jealous though - if that little muppet lays one hand on her I'm going to crush him with my bare hands like he's made out of metal. You know I can.
Smash him Titans. Smash them all. Titans by 4.6 million.

Sharks v Rabbitohs:
Want to know how I get changed so quickly?
Bad luck it's a secret.
Want to know who's going to win this game?
Rabbitohs. Not that you really needed me to tell you that.

Roosters v Cowboys:
This match will be more boring than a pub crawl in Smallville.
I pick Cowboys, but I don't even want to be told what happens.

Knights v Panthers:
It's a shame the Knights don't wear the traditional red and blue these days. A man looks good in tight red and blue. Much better than all black that's for sure. Those Panthers are just a bunch of Batman wannabes. Pathetic.
34-32 to the Knights.

Broncos v Raiders:
The Raider's bright green uniforms scare me to be honest. I'm staying well away from this match.
Broncos by anything except 56-0. Okay gotta run... I mean fly. Later.