NRL Finals Week 3 Guest Preview: HULK HOGAN

This week's special guest previewer is American actor and semi-retired professional wrestler HULK HOGAN.

Last week's writer KYLE SANDILANDS has been stood down after abusing League Larrikin for no apparent reason.

Bulldogs v Eels:
I gotta be honest with ya dudes, I don't really know much more about this rugby league than I do about knitting cardigans. Tell you the truth I don't even know the difference between a cardigan and a sweater.

But I do know one thing, and that's that either the Bulldogs or Eels are definitely going to win this game. I'm 99.9% sure of it. (I asked those guys on the Footy Show, but I'm not totally convinced they weren't pulling my leg. People often pull my leg - physically and figuratively - and I tend not to notice either.)

Anyway if I had to make a decision (which apparently I do) I'd go for Bulldogs because they got the better name. It's all about the name. And the moustache, that's pretty important too.

Storm v Broncos:
I'm going for the Brisbane Broncos. They probably won't win, but I'm going for them anyway since me and old TC (Tonie Carroll to the general non-famous public like yourselves) go waaaaaay back. Man, The Chin and I used to hang together back in the 50s before either of us hit the big time.

Tell ya what, he coulda been quite a wrestler that guy. He had everything going for him - the personality, the attitude, the biceps, the tights, the moustache... everything.

The tragedy was, he just couldn't settle on a stage name. He kept changing his mind. The fans never really identified with him, and if you don't got the fans you don't got nothin.

Well that's about it from me. I got about 150 more bull**** special guest cross-promotion gigs to get through talkin about stuff I don't understand with people I've never heard of. Like that Fatty Vautin. Damn that's an ordinary name.