We all need Dr. Phil

Across the state, across the country, across the world, people are begging for Phil Gould to return as coach and saviour of the NSW Blues next year. Well between Albury and Townsville they are anyway. NSW needs him. State of Origin needs him. Rugby league needs him. That’s an awful lot of insecure neediness floating around. Come on ‘Gus’, won’t you be our Dr. Phil and save us from our plight?

But even if he was to heed the call, would it be enough? Could a ‘Gus’ coached Blues side restore the passion and intensity of this once great annual series? I believe the answer is yes. My only reservation is that handing over the reigns to the restrictive role of coach alone, and expecting miracles, just may not suffice.

Gould must be instated as coach, manager, trainer, water boy, masseur, bus driver, tracksuit manufacturer, and anything else he wants. It’s the only way. Things can’t end there however. For this radical proposal to work it must be embraced wholeheartedly on every level. Appoint ‘Gus’ as the referee, video referee, and linesman. His one-off experience at the latter is an added bonus.

Let him sing the national anthem, captain both sides and run around with a microphone in his collar commentating the whole shebang. And even with his hands in all those pies (wait, let him sell the pies too) surely League’s biggest personality could somehow still find time to sit back, relax and enjoy the game amongst fellow fans in the grandstand. Who dares suggest that he couldn’t?

How long will the 'future' last?

So the Blues selectors are claiming they ‘picked the right team’ for Origin II. New South Wales fans should be breathing a sigh of relief I suppose. Imagine if they had picked the wrong team! It might have been even more embarrassing than it actually was. Then again perhaps not, considering the bemusing, bumbling performance rivaled Mal Meninga’s political career on the embarrass-o-meter.

At least this shows the selectors must be planning to stand by their squad and give them a second chance. Or will it be a third chance? I remember hearing a rather similar sentiment of loyalty emanating from the Blues camp after the first match. And yet I couldn’t spot Terry Campese or Anthony Laffranchi anywhere the other night.

‘I still think this is the team for the future,’ Selector Geoff Gerard said after the series loss. And they will be. At least for the next few weeks. Unfortunately for some players the ‘future’ he was talking about will likely be replaced by a future ‘future’ – one in which two or three scapegoats are sacrificed and replaced by a fresh new breed of soon-to-be-scapegoats-after-yet-another-loss. If State of Origin was played every week the Blues would be fielding a bunch of under 16s by the end of the year. And some time after that Brett Kimmorley might get a run.

Pretty soon the so-called blacklist will be longer than the list of players leftover. What a waste of paper. For now though Queenslanders will continue to delight in the capitulation of their southern counterparts. Indeed listening to the Blues selectors squirm around issues of the ‘future’ is about as inspiring as Darren Lockyer giving a speech with a sore throat.